Resolving Family Care Conflicts

Finding solutions to the tough issues

For many families, working through the challenges of aging and caregiving is a group effort.  And most often, the group doesn't see eye to eye.  

You may feel overwhelmed, angry, resentmentful, and worried. Maybe small disagreements have escalated. Maybe you feel like the family is stuck in a power struggle. Maybe old wounds and old roles are getting in the way. 

Emotions are high, a lot is at stake, and sometimes competing interests are at play. This can lead to disagreements, misunderstandings, and a breakdown in communication. A solution seems out of reach.

I work with families to create a space in which each person feels heard and supported. This allows the family reach a decision and take action in a way that reflects their shared needs and values.

Let's get your family unstuck and moving forward.

Is your family facing any of these challenges?

  • One family member feels a growing resentment about carrying most of the caregiving responsibility.
  • An out of state adult child is worried about the primary caregiver "burning out," but is reluctant to step in.
  • An older adult's living situation is becoming unsafe, but they don't want to accept help.
  • A sudden event like a stroke or major fall has occurred and you don't know where to start figuring out all the changes that will need to happen.
  • It's time to talk to a dementia-affected individual about stopping driving, but you're not sure how to go about it.
  • The flow of information about an older adult's situation is broken. How will you know if something important is going on?
  • Family members disagree about spending financial resources on care.
  • The medical decision-maker needs to communicate important information, but is worried that other family members won't accept the news.
  • It's time to make tough medical choices, and family members have different opinions.

Let my expertise and experience help guide your family to resolve the conflict

The 3 Reasons I'm Effective with Family Conflict Resolution

My approach differs from other types of disciplines and providers because I operate from the following set of values. When you work with me, you have a professional who is:

Concise

This is not traditional family therapy, which seeks to unpack decades of history. I will help your family focus on the problem at hand to guide you to a solution as quickly as possible. The issues addressed in family conflict resolution are often time-sensitive. I'll help you avoid endless unproductive group chats and get to an action plan rapidly.

Impartial

Often family discussions break down because old alliances, power dynamics, and grudges derail progress. When I work with your family, I have the benefit of being an impartial outsider who is not aligned with any particular individual, but wants to help your ENTIRE family move forward. This allows each person to feel engaged, supported, and more likely to accept change.

Expert

As a psychotherapist, I understand interpersonal dynamics and communication. As a medical social worker, I have extensive knowledge of the resources and programs available to families with older adults. As a geriatric specialist, I know the physical and social needs of an aging person. And as a former hospice social worker, I have years of experience helping families work through tough issues. 

The goal of family conflict resolution is to work quickly through the difficult situation while maintaining the respect and bonds that make each family special. Solutions can be achieved with the right mix of understanding, humor, grace, and insight. 

It would be my honor to support your family as you achieve those goals.

Frequently Asked Questions about Family Conflict Resolution

1. Is family conflict resolution the same thing as family therapy?

Not really. Family therapy is typically a longer-term process, often with the aim of resolving underlying issues. Family conflict resolution is much more solution-focused. The emphasis is on solving the problem rather than delving into why the problem exists. 

2. How much does it cost?

My rates for family conflict resolution are $250 per hour. 

3. What happens during the family meeting?

I will introduce myself to everyone, and go over a few ground rules (eg no interrupting). I will guide the group in identifying the point of conflict, or the issue that is causing difficulty. I will ask for input from each person, then summarize and characterize the viewpoints. I'll ask what each person believes is the best possible outcome. Along the way I will check for understanding and engagement, so each person feels like part of the process. I will help the group evaluate different possible solutions until we find the one that fits your family best. I reserve time at the end to decompress and restabilize so the meeting doesn't end with folks feeling frayed.

4. How long does it take?

Each meeting takes 90 minutes -2 hours. Most conflicts can be resolved within 1 or 2 meetings.

5. Where does the meeting take place?

The meeting can take place at my office (groups of 4 or fewer), at your home, or virtually via video conference.

6. Will my health insurance cover this?

This service is not psychotherapy, and therefore is not covered by health insurance.

7. Wait, I still have more questions!

No problem! Please reach out and I'll be happy to answer them during a free consultation.