The Perpetual Rose: Rethinking Aging and Finding Beauty at Every Stage

My eye was caught by luscious full bloom, truly a perfect rose. I bent closer to inhale the fragrance, and then noticed the placard beside it. 

Type: Perpetual

A perpetual rose? I was intrigued.

A little research told me that while most roses follow nature’s seasons- budding, blooming, and going dormant during cold- perpetual roses are bred for continuous blooming. They were developed in France by none other than Estee Lauder, the cosmetics giant.

It’s no accident that a beauty company promoted the idea of keeping something in a permanent state of bloom. After all, that’s the message we are constantly receiving. Not just from the beauty industry, either. We’re surrounded by the message that young equals good and old equals bad. 

Sure, we are pummeled with ads for anti-aging products promising to reverse time’s effects on our hairlines, waistlines, and fine lines. But the stereotypes run deeper.  Older adults in the media are often portrayed as forgetful, or frail, or “charmingly” out of touch with modern life. 

• Drives like a grandma.
• Sharp for his age.
• Dirty old man. 
• Cougar.

Rarely is old age associated with strength, vitality, or wisdom. And yet, the reality is very different: 

• Older drivers actually have fewer accidents than younger drivers.
• Being “sharp” is not the exception, it’s typical for aging. Dementia is not a normal part of getting older.
• Many older adults enjoy healthy, fulfilling sexuality.  There’s nothing dirty or predatory about it.

Even the so-called “positive aging role models” are considered positive not because they represent a normal version of aging, but because they do things associated with youth. Do some 80 year olds run marathons or climb Mount Everest or appear on the cover of the swimsuit issue of a sports magazine? Sure, and good for them. Is it a realistic aspiration for most 80 year olds? Certainly not (and not for many 40 year olds, either!). This “idealized” version of aging is really nothing more than a Perpetual Rose, locked forever in full bloom, denying the beauty of life’s natural cycles.

So what might be a healthier, more realistic vision of aging look like? 

It begins with recognizing the real gifts of growing older.  Research shows that some cognitive functions, such as emotional regulation, vocabulary, and problem-solving, can actually improve with age. There needs to be more awareness that older adults aren’t a social liability, but rather contribute to communities through work, volunteering, and providing critical childcare and eldercare functions in their families. We need art that honors lined faces and bodies, in ways that celebrate the unique beauty of older people.

Organizations such as the UK’s Centre for Ageing Better are actively working to shift the narrative by encouraging communities and media to be more inclusive, more representative, and more celebratory of older adulthood.

Is a Perpetual Rose beautiful? Certainly. But so is the sprout, just nudging up from the soil. And the bud, poised and ready. And the spent rose, petals curling and drifting away. And the dormant plant, quietly holding the history of past seasons, while preparing for what’s next. 

They all have something of value, if you really take the time to look.